I figured out my problem and why I have only wanted to read recently. I have been shying away from writing my sequel. Every time I tried I would write a few words and then stop to go read something that’s already been published by someone else. I couldn’t figure out what my problem was, but last night as I was lying in bed I came to a conclusion. Fear and stupidity are holding me back.
As you know I am working on getting my first novel published. But I don’t know who or when my book will be picked up, so I have been struggling with writing the sequel not knowing if this book will ever be published. I don’t know what will change in the first book that will affect the second one. So I have been procrastinating writing it. However, I realized last night that was stupid. I started writing the first book as proof that I could. Yes, I would love to see it published and I will work hard to make that happen, but that’s not the main reason I wrote the story.
I also realized this book is in a way a healing process for me. It’s a way for me to come to terms with some of my deep emotions that I haven’t known how to deal with, so every emotional situation in that book reflects one of mine. I’m not saying the situations reflect what happened to me, but if I want you feel fear or pain or even love, it is because that is what I felt at one time in my life. Since this book is a healing process I came to the conclusion that I have to finish this trilogy. I have to finish resolving my emotional issues. Putting them down on paper and letting my character go through these issues gives me a chance to think about some things that I have tried to suppress or forget. Writing has become my therapy.
It is also hard for me to mention this because if my book gets published you will know that I am laying myself bare. It’s very scary to put yourself out there on the chance that people will reject you. At this point part of me also doesn’t care. I feel like writing this trilogy is good for my soul and therefore I will persevere whether my book ever sees the light of day.